Can Prison Relationships Be Maintained While You’re Inside?

There are different types of romantic relationships when you’re in prison and they’re all difficult.

Photo by Carlos Nakazato on Unsplash

When I first realized going to prison was inevitable, regardless of my innocence, one of the biggest things I feared wasn’t anything that I thought would happen to me while I was inside exactly. It wasn’t fear of other inmates or correctional officers, or even the injustice of the situation. I wondered if, would I be able to keep my marriage going for almost six years without physically being with my wife?

Prison relationships are notoriously difficult to maintain and often, even strong marriages end in divorce while inmates are locked up or shortly after being released. I even considered breaking up my marriage before I left, not because I didn't want to be with my wife. Quite the opposite actually. I felt horrible for what we were both about to go through and didn’t want her to feel stuck in a situation she had zero control over, so in my mind, briefly at least, I thought I should release her from feeling committed to sticking around.

No worries, she quickly reminded me it wasn’t my place to release her from what she promised to do. Be there for me, in sickness and in health, through all the bullshit.

Only some people are as lucky as I am to have such a supportive partner. My wife is a rock, damn near a saint if I’m being honest. And we’re both blessed to have other partners in our relationship who support her (and me in other ways) while I’m in here and make things a little easier and better for her. A support system is vital for anyone who is dealing with incarceration, whether it’s friends, family, or other partners — for the inmate and your significant other.

What Are Prison Relationships?

There are different types of relationships that happen when you’re in prison. You may come into prison already in a relationship, married or not. For the most part, your marital status isn’t important in the eyes of the prison system these days, because unless you’re in one of only four states, there’s no such thing as conjugal visits any longer.