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Prison Gives You A Lot of Time to Think
I highly recommend using it to work on yourself.
I think we’re all guilty of getting in our own heads in a negative way. Maybe not even negative so much as overthinking things. I know I am. However, one thing I’ve gotten much better at since being here in prison is using this time to think and work on myself.
When I was in the outside world, I would overthink everything when I had too much time on my hands. It was easier to blame my upbringing rather than look internally and see what I could change about myself to correct whatever was going on in my life. Why consider changing things about me, when I could just chalk it up to a fucked up childhood?
Don’t get me wrong, my traumatic upbringing most assuredly had a lot to do with why I made some of the choices I did. However, that didn’t give me an excuse for behaving in the manner I did more often than not. But the saying “hurt people hurt people” exists for a reason, and sadly, I did a lot of hurting, more often than not, my wife who damn sure didn’t deserve it.
I’m thankful she decided I was worth waiting for. Not that I was going anywhere (other than prison I guess) but waiting for in terms of growing the fuck up and learning to take ownership of my bullshit and accountability for my actions.
