Why Do We Think Nice Guys Finish Last?
Guys, we’re looking at this all wrong.
I’ve heard so many incarnations of this, nice guys finish last, I’ve been put in the friend zone, women only like bad boys, etc. What they all have in common is their wrongness, especially the trope about nice guys. So, what’s wrong with being a nice guy?
The problem lies in thinking that being nice is a trait, when really, it’s the bare minimum anyone should do. No one, regardless of gender, is going to remain interested in someone who is simply ‘nice’. Women especially have settled for the bare minimum for so long, and they’re tired of it. I can’t say I blame them.
No one should settle, period. Although it may seem like it at the time, there’s no ‘relationship emergency’ happening that says you have to jump in one with the first person who is nice to you, pays attention, or is simply there. This is where we screw ourselves up. It’s like my grandfather used to tell me, don’t buy the first car you go look at, make sure you check out everything within your price range, then make a decision.
Relationships aren’t exactly like buying a car, but we can take this advice to heart in a way. When you’re in a situation where you feel like you have no choices, and you really need that car, you may be subject to buyer’s remorse down the road.
Men, woman, and folks you are considering entering into a relationship with should be nice to you. It’s the bare minimum requirement for being a decent human being. So to say, ‘nice guys finish last’ is frustrating, because it feels as if that’s all you’re bringing to the table. Personally, I need a bit more personality than just nice. I enjoy someone who is intelligent, self-confident, and who knows what they want out of life. Thinking of someone as nice doesn’t really enter into the equation.
Admittedly, every guy I know who swears they’re constantly tossed into the friend zone has no clue what they’re talking about. There’s no such thing when you get right down to it. If you are friends with a woman, and you decide to try for something more and are turned down, they’re not putting you in the friend zone. You were already a friend. However, if you’re only friends in an attempt to become something more, that’s on you. It’s dishonest and a…
